Adventures in cinema
There’s only 3 things certain in life. Death, Taxes, and Keanu Reeves looking disoriented in Hollywood movies. Speaking of death *spoiler alert* but poor John finally carks it in this one. Truly a miracle that he’s lasted this long. On second thought perhaps not as he unashamedly continues to be portrayed as some kind of Killer Christ evangelist using bullets instead of words. The religious themes be heavy in this one. The cinematography of the churches alone are almost worth the price of admission.
No doubt this is a beautifully shot movie with some absolutely exquisite and eye popping scenery, particularly when Japan turns into Kill Bill (and John). But at nearly 3 hours long there’s only so many times we can see people being shot in the head before it all begins to seem like a video game. At one point the camera actually takes a fully top down angle as John moves through an old building blasting baddies with exploding flame bullets. It’s literally JUST like watching a video game except you can’t play it.As much as we’re not here for the dialogue a little bit more variance would be nice.
There’s cameos galore throughout, even a rather strange and hilarious one from the freakin bouncer at Berghain. Yes the integration of clubbing and killing made infamous in the first Blade movie goes next level again as we see John fighting his way through an army of villains at a giant exotic nightclub surrounded by waterfalls. Strangely 90% of the clubbers seem completely unaware that people right next to them are being hacked to death with mini battle axes. Must be some really good pills? Their movements and reactions are so odd that one wonders if they are in fact NPC’s (non player characters) and we’re back again to the video games.
Towards the finale of the film we witness John getting hit by at least 10 moving vehicles but lucky he’s with AAMI. Then a dramatic, potentially symbolic (Sisyphus anyone?) scene involving a rather long set of stairs. A man also gets shot in the head and then a dog urinates on him. Laughter ensues. I still can’t help but wonder if the former stunt actor director is aiming for high art or is completely just ‘taking the piss’?
I think Morpheus swallowed both pills at the start of this one.
2.5 out of 5 potatoes for me.
